Ran-DUM

Without even the pretense of a theme, I give you the following: an unrelated collection of random pictures haphazardly assembled into a single post and presented in no particular order whatsoever.

Insectorsaurus!

For those of you who've seen Monsters vs. Aliens, you'll remember he godzilla-esque grub named Insectorsaurus, seen above vacationing in the pacific northeast, I think.  Anyway, below are a couple shots of something (moth?  spider with wings?) we dubbed Insectosaurus because it was huh-YOOGE.  I mean, for a  bug...it was...bigger than normal.

This thing either uses the most potent eye lash extender in the universe, or it has ferns growing out of its skull.

The Fowl 

"So let's go over it one more time.  I squawk, then you squawk, then I squawk, then you squawk.  Never ever squawk at the same time.  That defeats the purpose.  We're trying to create a continuous stream of squawking here."

Say hello to my least favorite animals on this farm.  I almost said least favorite life forms, but then I remembered how many times I've been covered in poison ivy since we've been here and decided to reserve that precious title for the plant whose existence I would gladly wipe permanently from the surface of this globe if only I had sufficient quantities of a weed killer sufficiently potent to do the job.  To borrow a quotation from City Slickers, "If hate [for poison ivy] were people, I'd be CHINA!"  I digress.  These two creepy buzzards are always together.  As far as I can tell, they squawk.  That's it.  It's a brain-grating, tranquility-killing sound which they make with a maddening regularity similar to Chinese water torture (that's two references to China in the same post?  Hmm.).  I think they've managed to avoid extinction by simply being the most annoying creature in the food chain, such that no predator can stand being around them long enough to kill them.  Plus, look at 'em?  Look tasty to you?  I bet only the French eat these things.   I think back to the episode when the hunters (to the extent that a sentient creature armed with GUN shooting an unsuspecting bird from the road constitutes a "hunter") killed our peahen and think, "why couldn't it have been either one of these two?"  Sigh.

One other thing they do is fight, and it is hi-LARIOUS.  The black annoying bird  (hereinafter "BAB") chases the grey annoying bird (hereinafter "GAB") in circles roughly 20 feet in diameter -without stopping- for a good five minutes (sometimes more).  We have no idea what starts these squabbles, but GAB runs around like it's on fire and BAB hunts GAB in a manner not unlike Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining."

Produce

The garden is putting out some good stuff.  So far we've been eating lettuce, green beans, cucumbers, garlic, onions, shallots and some cilantro.  Neither the tomatoes nor the assortment of hot peppers are ready yet, but they're coming along.  The onions are potent.  Jess tells me this has something to do with the sulfur she added to the soil.  I cut into one of these puppies and I look like I've just watched a rerun of the national title game between Ohio State and Florida (ungh...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth).  They are delicious, and it's exceedingly cool to just hop outside (I walk, actually) and pull what I want right out of mother Earth.

Oh, and check this out.  The cucumber plant puts out these grabby-lasso kind of things which hold the vines in place.  This one caught my attention because it looked just like a treble clef!  Kinda cool.

Not the greatest pic -took it with my phone.  Still, pretty crazy huh?  Oh, and check this one out:

We have separate garden for food just for the animals, things like sunflower seeds, alfalfa, corn...wheat, maybe?  The above is a sunflower sprouting with the shell of the seed still on it.  Several of them had this.  Kind cool.

After The Storm...

...it felt great.  Temperatures here have been relentless the past few days.  From July 4th through to yesterday the hi temperatures have been 89, 88, 88, 91 and 91.  We've been limiting our work outdoors to the mornings and evenings, but even then I drop roughly five pounds just feeding the dogs.  So when the (albeit shortly-lived) storm hit last night, the brief respite from the suffocating heat/humidity combo was truly a gift -as was the scenery left in the wake.

(Don't miss the rainbow at bottom left, above)

Yeah, it's a dying weed.  But it looked cool, all bent, twisted and curling in on itself at the top.  Not sure why I, but to me it looks like a weed which belongs in a Dr. Seuss book.

Kuh-REEPY Grinnin' Fool

I was goofin' around with this fool and he flashed me his grin.  Not sure if he was enjoying the belly scratch or tripping balls (wait...he doesn't have any) on some 'shrooms he found out back.  Regardless, he made me chuckle.

Standing Outside By My Front Yard Fence With Camera In My Hand

Yes, the title of this post is a nod to the 1996 one-hit wonder band Primitive Radio Gods and its...one...hit...which you can listen to hear (intentional use of the word "hear", fyi).  Kudos to those who got it.  See that road?  That's how it looks most of the time: no cars.

Project Update: Pergola 2.0

When we first bought the place, the pergola was a sorry, run-down, broken-up mildew-stained, half-rotted-but-fully-skewed structure conveniently constructed at such a low height so as to necessitate ducking (for most of us).  Observe:

Even Luna looks like she's ducking.

Suh-weeeet-ah!  See that little birds-carved-out-of-a-coconut-thing dangling on the left end of the pergola?  Here's what they're saying: "Shhhhh....shhhhhh...Don't.  Any.  Body.  Move.  One twitch of a feather and this puppy is will implode like a condemned Vegas casino."

That's not a patina finish, just FYI.  I don't think anyone was surprised when Jess decided she wanted to improve this glamorous piece of curb-appeal.  Who you gonna call?  "Jeeeeerrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy....!"  Those of you who've been around for a while might recall that Jerry helped me construct the first pergola back at the old place on Hazelwood.  That was very much a joint effort.  This was not.  All props to pop for this project!   Behold: Pergola 2.0 (not yet finished, btw)!

Notice several improvements over version 1.0.  Increased height for non-hobbits; level and plum posts and beams; and a handy gate.  While we're on this Jerry love-fest, each and every picket you see here (and even those you don't see) was individually cut by dad.  I watched him do it.  Took him about 4 minutes per picket.  When you see the number of pickets he cut, you're brain sorta folds into itself and you teeter on the precipice  of insanity.  They look awesome.

Jess insisted on re-creating the entire pergola, which includes these individual arches.  At first I was skeptical, but now that they're up, I love them.

That's the same wood, folks.  Scroll up and compare.  Obviously the posts are new, but the beams on top are the same.  Dad planed them all and had to repair several.  On the old structure these beams were toe-nailed into the posts, and we had to crack and/or entirely break several in order to remove them.  I thought they were junked for sure, but dad said huh-uh.  So he took them back to his shop and "Shazam!" (dad's favorite super hero was Captain Marvel, who first appeared in Whiz Comics #2 back in February, 1940), they looka like new.  Unreal.  Color me impressed.  There is still more work for Jerry us to do, and I'll update accordingly.